[Parentsgroup-list] Re: Parentsgroup-list Digest, Vol 448, Issue 1

Dawn Davis Loring dawndavisloring at yahoo.com
Fri Mar 20 10:11:18 EDT 2009


>From another one of the minority of women out there who couldn't produce enough milk, thanks for the supportive statements I have been reading today. It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't feed my baby myself (and god knows I tried really hard). I was so thankful for formula because going to the pediatrician and watching my 9 pound baby's weight drop each time was an experience I don't care to repeat. After we started formula and he began regaining the weight, I finally was able to make it through a weighing-in without sobbing. That was a good day.

Having had this experience, I wouldn't want to limit any other woman's choices. If you can physically breastfeed, consider yourself lucky to have choices. I support you fully and am more than a little envious.
Dawn


----- Original Message ----
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To: parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu
Sent: Friday, March 20, 2009 12:27:47 AM
Subject: Parentsgroup-list Digest, Vol 448, Issue 1

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Today's Parentsgroup Digest:

Today's Topics:

   1. Re: RE: Parentsgroup-list] anti-breastfeeding     article in the
      AtlanticMonthly (Michelle Forman)
   2. Advice about public schools and neighbourhoods in Somerville
      - moving from Ottawa to Boston next year (Elizabeth Muggah)
   3. Re: RE: Parentsgroup-list] anti-breastfeeding    article in the
      AtlanticMonthly (Michal Herzfeld)


----------------------------------------------------------------------

Message: 1
Date: Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:21:55 -0400
From: Michelle Forman <mlf534 at mail.harvard.edu>
Subject: Re: [Parentsgroup-list] RE: Parentsgroup-list]
    anti-breastfeeding     article in the AtlanticMonthly
To: ?milie cappella <emilie.cappella at gmail.com>
Cc: Parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu
Message-ID:
    <e6cd1b180903191121k632507a5i5d6979d5a7b1e197 at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

What I think that we need to be careful of, in our highly-educated circles,
is phrases like "you're doing worse when you give formula," or extolling the
many benefits of breastfeeding over formula. I say this because in our
circles we have been utterly, completely convinced of the benefit. What I
and many of my friends struggled with was the emotional fallout when it
didn't work perfectly. I have watched friends in and out of this program
spends hundreds of dollars on lactation consultants, smuggle drugs in from
Canada to increase production, be told not to let a drop of formula cross
their infants' lips, obsessively monitor the ounces they were able to pump,
shut down emotionally at the suggestion that their baby looked hungry, be
told that a baby rejected the breast was making unhealthy choices and she
should throw out every bottle in the house, and on and on.

The message that is not out there - again, in my experience - anywhere near
enough is that breastfeeding is wonderful IF its wonderful. And that if you
end up needing to supplement or switch to formula your baby will still be
healthy and strong, will not suffer intellectually or lack an emotional
connection to his/her parents. I remember a friend of mine saying to herself
"It may prevent an ear infection, Emily, it will not cure cancer."
Especially in the emotional insanity of postpartum hormones reassurance and
perspective are critical, and in my experience, sorely lacking.

2009/3/18 =E9milie cappella <emilie.cappella at gmail.com>

>  Hi,
>
> I wonder why everybody is always talking about breastfeeding PROS and CON=
S.
> You're not doing better when you breastfeed, but you're doing worse when =
you
> give formula, that's the point. And you know that when you try to answer =
the
> question "what is formula ?"
> http://www.theecologist.org/pages/archive_detail.asp?content_id=3D586
> Of course breast milk is not a magical elixir, people and journalists who
> tell that are just doing some poetry. Breast milk is only the normal
> thing. The natural process is more reliable than the industrial one, and =
we
> don't need to count IQ points to know that.
> The Atlantic article shows that American propaganda about breastfeeding
> went too far : some women believed the propaganda and were disappointed, =
so
> now they are initiating a kind of revolt as naive as their first belief in
> the magic. It's unfair for the people who try so hard to obtain a better
> legislation for working mothers.
>
> Emilie Cappella
>
> ----- Original Message -----
>  *Sent:* Monday, March 16, 2009 9:36 AM
> *Subject:* [Parentsgroup-list] anti-breastfeeding article in the
> AtlanticMonthly
>
> Hi parents,
>
> I wonder what you'll make of this provocative article.  I feel like I also
> had my issues with breastfeeding (especially the inequality it sets up in
> the parenting between mother and father) but I feel quite strongly that it
> is the best option for my child.  The article below brings up a lot of
> questions about breastfeeding and I wonder what the highly educated membe=
rs
> of this listserve will make of it.
>
> http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/case-against-breastfeeding
>
> _______________________________________________
> Parentsgroup-list mailing list
> Parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu
> http://lists.hcs.harvard.edu/mailman/listinfo/parentsgroup-list
>
>


-- =

Michelle Forman
Doctoral Student, Education Policy
Strategic Education Research Partnership
Harvard Graduate School of Education
617-895-6455 (cell)
617-495-7661 (office)
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Message: 2
Date: Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:14:17 -0400
From: Elizabeth Muggah <emuggah at hotmail.com>
Subject: [Parentsgroup-list] Advice about public schools and
    neighbourhoods in Somerville - moving from Ottawa to Boston next year
To: <parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu>
Message-ID: <COL119-W25A847E3877166B2332892BB970 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"



Hello parents! =


My husband and I and our two children (age 4 and 6 years) will be moving fr=
om Ottawa, Canada, to Boston this summer as each of us will be completing a=
one year mid career masters at Harvard in 2009-2010. Our kids will be in K=
indergarden 2 and Grade 2 next year. We are looking forward to a great year=
.  =


I am hoping you can help me with a bit of advice. We are looking to live in=
Somerville -  one of the main reasons for this is that the lottery system =
in the public school system in Cambridge seems to makes it impossible for u=
s as renters who will register late to predict what school our kids will ge=
t into. =


We have found two apartments which look good to us as outsiders in terms of=
the "family-friendliness" of the neighbourhood. The first apartment is up =
the street form the JF Kennedy public school and a short walk to Benjamin B=
rown school. The second is near Washington St/Beacon St or Kirkland Village=
(the latter may just be real estate lingo but that is what the map says) a=
nd the local school is Lincoln Park school. We have heard good things about=
JFK and BBrown school but know that the reputation of Lincoln Park school =
isn't so good, although the facility is apparently lovely. =


We are really wanting to walk our kids to school and move to a friendly nei=
ghbourhood where the kids can play outside and meet other children, use the=
ir bikes etc.

Your advice about the above would be appreciated, particularly as it concer=
ns Lincoln School. My concerns about the school are less about the acadmic =
rigor, as they will be there only one year, but I want them to be happy at =
the school. =


Thank-you in advance for all of your insider opinions. =


Cheers, =

Liz Muggah



_________________________________________________________________
Experience all of the new features, and Reconnect with your life.
http://go.microsoft.com/?linkid=3D9650730
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Message: 3
Date: Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:24:18 -0700
From: "Michal Herzfeld" <mherzfeld at law.harvard.edu>
Subject: Re: [Parentsgroup-list] RE: Parentsgroup-list]
    anti-breastfeeding    article in the AtlanticMonthly
To: <mlf534 at mail.harvard.edu>
Cc: Parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu
Message-ID: <291aa01c9a91c$1dfa4850$496a010a at mail2world.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

Michelle,
Thank you so much for your post.  It was pretty much exactly what I
wanted to say, but in a much nicer tone than I would have been able to
manage.  You can't overestimate the power of the combination of
post-delivery hormones, lack of sleep, and the sudden discovery that one
just doesn't produce enough milk for one's child.  People make it seem
like the single most important thing a mother can do for her child is to
breastfeed, and to find out that one can't makes one feel like an utter
failure, less of a woman, and an unfit mother.  Hearing phrases like
"you're doing worse when you give formula" simply reinforces that.
I realize this debate centers around the choice to give formula rather
than giving formula out of necessity, but I wanted to give some voice to
the minority of women whose children would simply starve without
formula.  For those who find themselves judging parents who give
formula: next time you see a woman or man feeding a child formula, try
to tell yourself that formula feeding is their decision, and a perfectly
acceptable one.  But if you can't bring yourself to believe that, just
think that perhaps the child is only alive because of the miracle of
formula.
Michal


<-----Original Message----->

           From: Michelle Forman [mlf534 at mail.harvard.edu]
Sent: 3/19/2009 1:22:55 PM
To: emilie.cappella at gmail.com
Cc: Parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu
Subject: Re: [Parentsgroup-list] RE: Parentsgroup-list]
anti-breastfeeding article in the AtlanticMonthly =


What I think that we need to be careful of, in our highly-educated
circles, is phrases like "you're doing worse when you give formula," or
extolling the many benefits of breastfeeding over formula. I say this
because in our circles we have been utterly, completely convinced of the
benefit. What I and many of my friends struggled with was the emotional
fallout when it didn't work perfectly. I have watched friends in and out
of this program spends hundreds of dollars on lactation consultants,
smuggle drugs in from Canada to increase production, be told not to let
a drop of formula cross their infants' lips, obsessively monitor the
ounces they were able to pump, shut down emotionally at the suggestion
that their baby looked hungry, be told that a baby rejected the breast
was making unhealthy choices and she should throw out every bottle in
the house, and on and on. =


The message that is not out there - again, in my experience - anywhere
near enough is that breastfeeding is wonderful IF its wonderful. And
that if you end up needing to supplement or switch to formula your baby
will still be healthy and strong, will not suffer intellectually or lack
an emotional connection to his/her parents. I remember a friend of mine
saying to herself "It may prevent an ear infection, Emily, it will not
cure cancer." Especially in the emotional insanity of postpartum
hormones reassurance and perspective are critical, and in my experience,
sorely lacking. =



2009/3/18 milie cappella < emilie.cappella at gmail.com
<mailto:emilie.cappella at gmail.com> >


    Hi,
    =

    I wonder why everybody is always talking about breastfeeding
PROS and CONS. You're not doing better when you breastfeed, but you're
doing worse when you give formula, that's the point. And you know that
when you try to answerthe question "what is formula ?"
    =

http://www.theecologist.org/pages/archive_detail.asp?content_id=3D586
    Of course breast milk is not a magical elixir, people and
journalists who tell that are just doing some poetry. Breast milk is
only the normal thing.The natural process is more reliable thanthe
industrial one, and we don't need to count IQ points to know that.
    The Atlantic article shows that American propaganda about
breastfeeding wenttoo far : some women believed the propaganda and were
disappointed, so now they are initiating a kind of revolt as naive as
their first belief in the magic. It's unfair for the people who try so
hard to obtain a better legislation for working mothers.
    =

    Emilie Cappella
    =

    ----- Original Message ----- =

    Sent: Monday, March 16, 2009 9:36 AM
    Subject: [Parentsgroup-list] anti-breastfeeding article in the
AtlanticMonthly

    Hi parents,
    =

    I wonder what you'll make of this provocative article. I feel
like I also had my issues with breastfeeding (especially the inequality
it sets up in the parenting between mother and father) but I feel quite
strongly that it is the best option for my child. The article below
brings up a lot of questions about breastfeeding and I wonder what the
highly educated members of this listserve will make of it.
    =


    http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/case-against-breastfeeding
    =


    _______________________________________________
    Parentsgroup-list mailing list
    Parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu
<mailto:Parentsgroup-list at lists.hcs.harvard.edu> =

    http://lists.hcs.harvard.edu/mailman/listinfo/parentsgroup-list
    =

    =





-- =

Michelle Forman
Doctoral Student, Education Policy
Strategic Education Research Partnership
Harvard Graduate School of Education
617-895-6455 (cell)
617-495-7661 (office)


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